








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 523 matches | ||
| Faceit | 315 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10822 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7064 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 14081 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 11380 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,114,074 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 922 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schutini0 ._. | 52% | 235 |
| #2 | Hades | 50% | 231 |
| #3 | Archiebald Witwicky | 50% | 290 |
| #4 | Димитрий <Hyper> | 49% | 916 |
| #5 | Pheli | 49% | 448 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Димитрий <Hyper> | 3579 | 0.19 | 86 min |
| #2 | Pheli | 1298 | 0.14 | 27 min |
| #3 | schutini0 ._. | 352 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Archiebald Witwicky | 274 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | Hades | 200 | 0.04 | 4 min |





