








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 447 matches | ||
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2802 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4239 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 7327 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 8304 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,496,232 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schutini0 ._. | 57% | 81 |
| #2 | Hades | 50% | 54 |
| #3 | Димитрий <Hyper> | 50% | 263 |
| #4 | Karl Hyper | 50% | 290 |
| #5 | Dena | 49% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Димитрий <Hyper> | 1059 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | Karl Hyper | 768 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | Pheli | 393 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Hiding from cops | 223 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Dena | 176 | 0.12 | 6 min |





