








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2081 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1715 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2003 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1195 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1674 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $531,200 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lattzera | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | J13K | 86% | 43 |
| #3 | tangz | 83% | 46 |
| #4 | Frowan | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | Soup | 78% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BBruse | 75% | 108 |
| #7 | t8te | 75% | 59 |
| #8 | Roger that. | 71% | 65 |
| #9 | wonk | 69% | 16 |
| #10 | lafaa | 67% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J13K | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | lafaa | 3 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | BBruse | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | tangz | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | wonk | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BBruse | 613 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | t8te | 247 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | tangz | 247 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | J13K | 199 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Roger that. | 100 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOBBYSMOKE | +2.77 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | Soup | +2.37 | 85 | 38 |
| #3 | wonk | +2.31 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | BBruse | +2.31 | 83 | 72 |
| #5 | J13K | +1.83 | 81 | 71 |





