








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 528 | 27% |
| Smokes | 583 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 360 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 459 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,853 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | RobbaN | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Christoffer D | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | SomaliapoliceTHETHIRD | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | cracktony | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | SuckDicker69 | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cracktony | 7 | 0.0805 |
| #2 | SomaliapoliceTHETHIRD | 7 | 0.0814 |
| #3 | SuckDicker69 | 3 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | MattanDee | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Smarre | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattanDee | +2.63 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | WAW' | +2.14 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | Smarre | +1.11 | 85 | 52 |
| #4 | RobbaN | +0.98 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | Christoffer D | +0.81 | 83 | 64 |





