








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2804 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1750 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1922 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1623 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,693 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 685 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macklin celebrini | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | cose =D | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Gäis | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | Restini | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | vebe =DD | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gäis | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | Restini | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | vebe =DD | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | kale kalkaroskärmes | 42% | 38 |
| #7 | Kylis | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kale kalkaroskärmes | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Gäis | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Kylis | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | cose =D | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Restini | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gäis | 117 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | kale kalkaroskärmes | 62 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kylis | 55 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Restini | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | cose =D | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vebe =DD | +2.89 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | Gäis | +1.29 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | olavi | +0.63 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | kale kalkaroskärmes | +0.41 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | macklin celebrini | +0.40 | 79 | 48 |





