








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 933 | 28% |
| Smokes | 812 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 886 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 698 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,175 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | khaik | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | macklin celebrini | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Restini | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | kale kalkaroskärmes | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | Gäis | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kale kalkaroskärmes | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | olavi | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Kylis | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Gäis | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | vika | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olavi | 142 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | Restini | 50 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gäis | 42 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kylis | 34 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | kale kalkaroskärmes | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | khaik | +4.71 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | olavi | +2.29 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | Restini | +1.68 | 69 | 76 |
| #4 | macklin celebrini | +1.26 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | Gäis | +1.21 | 59 | 62 |





