








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 179 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




455 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9310 | 24% |
| Smokes | 11655 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8940 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8969 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,858,867 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3872 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jon | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | dusty ツ | 58% | 228 |
| #3 | shouldbeorisit | 55% | 365 |
| #4 | t0m@s ⛟ | 54% | 307 |
| #5 | fragmastercarl | 54% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shouldbeorisit | 96 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | rezzah | 65 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | dusty ツ | 44 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | t0m@s ⛟ | 38 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | fragmastercarl | 22 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rezzah | 1204 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | dusty ツ | 734 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | shouldbeorisit | 723 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #4 | t0m@s ⛟ | 566 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | fragmastercarl | 210 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jon | +3.50 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | Flix | +2.90 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | rezzah | +1.47 | 90 | 57 |
| #4 | dusty ツ | +1.22 | 83 | 62 |
| #5 | shouldbeorisit | -0.08 | 79 | 58 |





