








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5811 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6746 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5691 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5843 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,262,395 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jon | 70% | 71 |
| #2 | fragmastercarl | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | dusty ツ | 57% | 146 |
| #4 | Flix | 54% | 307 |
| #5 | rezzah | 54% | 451 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fragmastercarl | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | dusty ツ | 57% | 146 |
| #4 | Flix | 54% | 307 |
| #5 | rezzah | 54% | 451 |
| #6 | shouldbeorisit | 52% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flix | 131 | 0.0217 |
| #2 | shouldbeorisit | 39 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | rezzah | 37 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | dusty ツ | 29 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | jon | 16 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rezzah | 959 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Flix | 905 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | shouldbeorisit | 522 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #4 | dusty ツ | 417 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | jon | 272 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jon | +3.07 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Flix | +2.79 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | rezzah | +2.07 | 91 | 59 |
| #4 | dusty ツ | +1.79 | 84 | 62 |
| #5 | shouldbeorisit | +0.73 | 80 | 63 |





