








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 447 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2150 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3924 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4876 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4301 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,938,896 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | sbq | 46% | 237 |
| #8 | Pepor | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | NeCkeR | 45% | 74 |
| #10 | buarzejski | 44% | 140 |
| #11 | β₯ DD β₯ | 43% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koperek | 975 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | kaban | 407 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | sbq | 380 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | wtrxgod γ | 319 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | buarzejski | 260 | 0.10 | 7 min |





