








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2119 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2823 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2116 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2048 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,348 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sbq | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Koperek | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | wtrxgod γ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | π΅πΎππ² γ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wtrxgod γ | 189 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | Koperek | 105 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | sbq | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | π΅πΎππ² γ | 65 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | kaban | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |





