










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6513 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8205 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6281 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6037 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,730,408 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | kaban | 53% | 333 |
| #10 | DJ Spermol | 53% | 36 |
| #11 | buarzejski | 51% | 35 |
| #12 | π΅πΎππ² γ | 51% | 261 |
| #13 | β₯ DD β₯ | 47% | 45 |





