








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 890 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3487 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4260 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3473 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3698 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,724,748 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yellow | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | mlzy | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | fatfuck 𓆩≽^•⩊•^≼𓆪∝ ◤ | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | 사나 ♥ | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | d | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | raas | 53% | 32 |
| #9 | Daddy Illchay 凸(-_-)凸 | 52% | 50 |
| #10 | KoZ | 51% | 76 |
| #11 | Excel 擅长 | 49% | 41 |
| #12 | average | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 사나 ♥ | 19 | 0.0235 |
| #2 | mlzy | 18 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | Yellow | 15 | 0.0287 |
| #4 | kian | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Daddy Illchay 凸(-_-)凸 | 9 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kian | 778 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | KoZ | 333 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | taxevader | 275 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | Daddy Illchay 凸(-_-)凸 | 246 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | raas | 156 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danathan | +2.04 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | KoZ | +1.90 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | kian | +1.27 | 85 | 56 |
| #4 | Yellow | +1.21 | 73 | 53 |
| #5 | d | +0.88 | 81 | 65 |





