








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 575 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 457 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5567 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5166 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5895 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5801 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,826,249 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K|ng 𓆩≽^•♕•^≼𓆪 | 62% | 61 |
| #2 | npigchu <3 ST | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | Yellow | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | 사나 ♥ | 55% | 153 |
| #5 | fatfuck 𓆩≽^•⩊•^≼𓆪∝ ◤ | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | toofy | 53% | 47 |
| #9 | arbisocks | 52% | 64 |
| #10 | Daddy Illchay 凸(-_-)凸 | 52% | 229 |
| #11 | danathan | 49% | 41 |
| #12 | Kaserbeam | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Illchay 凸(-_-)凸 | 998 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #2 | K|ng 𓆩≽^•♕•^≼𓆪 | 403 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #3 | 사나 ♥ | 308 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | fatfuck 𓆩≽^•⩊•^≼𓆪∝ ◤ | 284 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #5 | arbisocks | 227 | 0.18 | 7 min |





