








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Wingman | 256 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8526 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9272 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8163 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7322 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,567,223 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1772 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoZ | 611 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | taxevader | 546 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | danathan | 495 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | mlzy | 209 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | d | 200 | 0.15 | 5 min |





