








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 429 | 23% |
| Smokes | 300 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 525 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 572 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,167 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nil | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | Deathsmile | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | GER|Kıńġ˛Βℓąċĸ | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | dado | 58% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nil | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | Deathsmile | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | GER|Kıńġ˛Βℓąċĸ | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | dado | 58% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nil | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Deathsmile | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | dado | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nil | 126 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Deathsmile | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | dado | 17 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | GER|Kıńġ˛Βℓąċĸ | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dado | +3.14 | 95 | 41 |
| #2 | nil | +1.43 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | Deathsmile | +0.38 | 89 | 38 |
| #4 | GER|Kıńġ˛Βℓąċĸ | -0.19 | 61 | 53 |
| #5 | mtw231 | -1.19 | 79 | 61 |





