








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1474 | 36% |
| Smokes | 849 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1070 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,457 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SiNNNnn | 79% | 14 |
| #7 | dan1el | 75% | 120 |
| #8 | bast1 | 72% | 43 |
| #9 | Final | 70% | 10 |
| #10 | tornadotob1 | 69% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan1el | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | tornadotob1 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | bast1 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | SiNNNnn | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | sho | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan1el | 691 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #2 | tornadotob1 | 340 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | bast1 | 199 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Nqrman | 102 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | SiNNNnn | 83 | 0.26 | 2 min |





