








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8001 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4443 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5525 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5776 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,388,269 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FANCY | 72% | 43 |
| #2 | Final | 62% | 65 |
| #3 | FiRe_W4ll | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | tornadotob1 | 57% | 168 |
| #5 | dan1el | 57% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | tornadotob1 | 57% | 168 |
| #5 | dan1el | 57% | 316 |
| #6 | Nqrman | 54% | 170 |
| #7 | Das Finanzamt | 52% | 134 |
| #8 | DoubleU ツ | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan1el | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | tornadotob1 | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Nqrman | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | FiRe_W4ll | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Final | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan1el | 1713 | 0.27 | 44 min |
| #2 | tornadotob1 | 611 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | Nqrman | 495 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | Das Finanzamt | 416 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Final | 285 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FANCY | +3.77 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | FiRe_W4ll | +3.29 | 82 | 77 |
| #3 | dan1el | +2.85 | 78 | 76 |
| #4 | tornadotob1 | +2.01 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | Nqrman | +0.63 | 85 | 72 |





