








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 437 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4235 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4902 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3048 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4743 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,277,924 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caVV | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | Rin | 62% | 130 |
| #3 | Benji | 59% | 103 |
| #4 | hexen | 59% | 145 |
| #5 | Ben1 | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | The Dude | 49% | 96 |
| #11 | alex | 49% | 74 |
| #12 | Dank Lee | 49% | 146 |
| #13 | arty | 46% | 24 |
| #14 | arbor | 43% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hexen | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Benji | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Blinded | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Dank Lee | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Rin | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blinded | 1042 | 0.30 | 31 min |
| #2 | hexen | 817 | 0.26 | 22 min |
| #3 | StevieJuanderchild | 557 | 0.31 | 17 min |
| #4 | ionsto | 525 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #5 | Rin | 483 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hexen | +2.83 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | Rin | +2.58 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | ionsto | +1.61 | 86 | 74 |
| #4 | Ben1 | +1.34 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | caVV | +0.74 | 80 | 68 |





