








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8460 | 51% |
| Smokes | 2186 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2003 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3794 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,787 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskarshaizivjbende | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | danjix | 56% | 112 |
| #3 | Nils Ušakovs | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | Grindushka | 53% | 164 |
| #5 | 1738 | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danjix | 24 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Zemestrice | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Grindushka | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Raozy | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | RushlinE* | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danjix | 852 | 0.38 | 17 min |
| #2 | Raozy | 552 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | Zemestrice | 537 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | Grindushka | 220 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | 1738 | 145 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zemestrice | +3.01 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | oskarshaizivjbende | +2.64 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | danjix | +2.18 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | KIVETORS | +2.06 | 85 | 74 |
| #5 | Raozy | +1.25 | 83 | 54 |





