








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 24% |
| Smokes | 873 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 475 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 515 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $278,991 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esse | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | S4ndeR ♿ | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Baba HiddeN | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | PEPSI MAX | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | downatello | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PEPSI MAX | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | downatello | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | R3FLEX | 54% | 41 |
| #7 | JueLLL | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | FIREFOX | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEPSI MAX | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Baba HiddeN | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | JueLLL | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | downatello | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3FLEX | 131 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | FIREFOX | 52 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | PEPSI MAX | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | JueLLL | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Baba HiddeN | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esse | +4.86 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | S4ndeR ♿ | +3.10 | 88 | 73 |
| #3 | Baba HiddeN | +2.24 | 66 | 80 |
| #4 | FIREFOX | +1.68 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | downatello | +1.00 | 83 | 70 |





