








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1320 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1141 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 975 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 950 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,890 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charles | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Dr. Sploooge | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Cable_ | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Carlos | 55% | 122 |
| #5 | Pathtogorry | 55% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Carlos | 55% | 122 |
| #5 | Pathtogorry | 55% | 104 |
| #6 | Rectangle | 52% | 106 |
| #7 | scrooge mcduck | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | dogpizza | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rectangle | 17 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Carlos | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Pathtogorry | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | dogpizza | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | scrooge mcduck | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rectangle | 484 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Carlos | 333 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | scrooge mcduck | 105 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | dogpizza | 84 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pathtogorry | 77 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rectangle | +4.30 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | Carlos | +3.03 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Charles | +2.45 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | dogpizza | +1.31 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | scrooge mcduck | +1.19 | 56 | 65 |





