








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 938 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Wingman | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5827 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5140 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4837 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4433 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,498,637 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 792 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cortok | 59% | 133 |
| #2 | Noname | 59% | 165 |
| #3 | ✮ Hackerman | 56% | 340 |
| #4 | m4ks :))) | 53% | 318 |
| #5 | thandr_storm | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Noname | 59% | 165 |
| #3 | ✮ Hackerman | 56% | 340 |
| #4 | m4ks :))) | 53% | 318 |
| #5 | thandr_storm | 50% | 36 |
| #6 | @N0bleV | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4ks :))) | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Noname | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ✮ Hackerman | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | cortok | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | @N0bleV | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4ks :))) | 511 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #2 | ✮ Hackerman | 384 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | Noname | 357 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | cortok | 269 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | @N0bleV | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +1.61 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | cortok | +0.77 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | Jauchi | +0.72 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | ✮ Hackerman | +0.60 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | m4ks :))) | +0.35 | 75 | 69 |





