








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2496 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3224 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3489 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3400 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,933 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @N0bleV | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | cortok | 60% | 68 |
| #3 | TRiicE | 59% | 105 |
| #4 | ✮ Hackerman | 57% | 182 |
| #5 | thandr_storm | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | cortok | 60% | 68 |
| #3 | TRiicE | 59% | 105 |
| #4 | ✮ Hackerman | 57% | 182 |
| #5 | thandr_storm | 56% | 25 |
| #6 | Jauchi | 53% | 318 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jauchi | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | TRiicE | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ✮ Hackerman | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | cortok | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | @N0bleV | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jauchi | 927 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #2 | TRiicE | 265 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✮ Hackerman | 253 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | cortok | 156 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | @N0bleV | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRiicE | +1.45 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | cortok | +0.58 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | ✮ Hackerman | +0.51 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | Jauchi | +0.42 | 85 | 65 |
| #5 | m4ks :))) | +0.37 | 76 | 68 |





