








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2056 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1986 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1290 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1721 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,544 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vild | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | chanti | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | zevve | 54% | 126 |
| #4 | slyde | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | brink :3 | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | chanti | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | zevve | 54% | 126 |
| #4 | slyde | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | brink :3 | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | Sickness | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zevve | 13 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | brink :3 | 4 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | slyde | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Vild | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zevve | 252 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | brink :3 | 95 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | slyde | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sickness | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vild | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zevve | +2.01 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | slyde | +1.76 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | LyMZツ | +1.09 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Vild | +0.60 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | brink :3 | +0.18 | 69 | 81 |





