








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Renown | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10129 | 36% |
| Smokes | 8432 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3428 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 6116 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $925,815 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 932 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zevve | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | qvx シ | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Socby | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | ᑭIᒪGᗩᗩᖇᗪ | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | mARLO | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0k3r-DK | 16 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | qvx シ | 8 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | ᑭIᒪGᗩᗩᖇᗪ | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | mARLO | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Socby | 3 | 0.0044 |





