








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2358 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2081 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2281 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2181 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,028 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 55% | 40 | ||
| #14 | kace | 50% | 14 |
| #15 | rebe | 50% | 22 |
| 43% | 21 | ||
| #17 | Bärk | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THUGTOIMINTAA | 38 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | sande | 34 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | reinika4ine | 21 | 0.0157 |
| 18 | 0.0495 | ||
| #5 | eeme | 11 | 0.0077 |





