








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1201 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1995 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1496 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1883 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,691 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fkg | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | LoSo | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | h!gh. | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Shadyeski | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Shia "The Songman" Stylez | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shia "The Songman" Stylez | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Tsm𝔸ck | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | LukeyB | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ReLo@d3d sex g0d | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Shadyeski | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sinEkal | 355 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | LoSo | 175 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Shia "The Songman" Stylez | 148 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | fkg | 95 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | ReLo@d3d sex g0d | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fkg | +2.20 | 66 | 67 |
| #2 | LoSo | +1.41 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Tsm𝔸ck | +1.25 | 64 | 81 |
| #4 | ファラオ | +1.20 | 69 | 55 |
| #5 | h!gh. | +1.05 | 66 | 50 |





