








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1408 | 25% |
| Smokes | 620 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 2434 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1266 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $571,419 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | *nTK| ViCiOuS | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | JesusFreak | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | Shia "The Songman" Stylez | 38% | 29 |
| #12 | DTF Reaper | 38% | 16 |
| #13 | LoSo | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GarySan | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Shia "The Songman" Stylez | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ファラオ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Torch | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | *nTK| ViCiOuS | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diezlfueledpotato | 105 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | LoSo | 78 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | NineSpot[st] | 67 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shia "The Songman" Stylez | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Torch | 62 | 0.13 | 1 min |





