








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2720 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1925 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2208 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1491 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,557 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HansenEZ | 61% | 135 |
| #2 | Starvin Marvin | 59% | 61 |
| #3 | Fau0cka Yu0 | 58% | 67 |
| #4 | HΣNKΣ | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | pIOTERkuuuuk1 | 54% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HansenEZ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | pIOTERkuuuuk1 | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Fau0cka Yu0 | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Starvin Marvin | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HansenEZ | 286 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | pIOTERkuuuuk1 | 236 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Starvin Marvin | 137 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fau0cka Yu0 | 93 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | STJOM | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NewTnnn | +4.28 | 91 | 83 |
| #2 | Starvin Marvin | +3.01 | 88 | 68 |
| #3 | HΣNKΣ | +0.85 | 78 | 76 |
| #4 | HansenEZ | +0.50 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | Average Pilk Enjoyer | -0.33 | 85 | 57 |





