








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 579 | 25% |
| Smokes | 637 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 522 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,126 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reno | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | fisken | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Pingu | 64% | 44 |
| #4 | Not Not Dill | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | mvqiCS | 57% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Not Not Dill | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | mvqiCS | 57% | 56 |
| #6 | Alfie | 56% | 59 |
| #7 | the messiah | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Vitzeel | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingu | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | mvqiCS | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Alfie | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Vitzeel | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mvqiCS | 294 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | Pingu | 117 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Alfie | 96 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Not Not Dill | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | the messiah | 21 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hiboo | +1.23 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | fisken | +1.06 | 81 | 51 |
| #3 | mvqiCS | +0.81 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | Not Not Dill | +0.58 | 86 | 65 |
| #5 | Alfie | +0.17 | 77 | 49 |





