








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10924 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6315 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 8944 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5816 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,039 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHEEZY | 77% | 44 |
| #2 | t1 | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | psyko1 | 53% | 189 |
| #4 | Denem | 50% | 86 |
| #5 | 1fallsbimsl david.exe | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoJo | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | psyko1 | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Denem | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | 1fallsbimsl david.exe | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | t1 | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psyko1 | 323 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | Denem | 173 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | t1 | 171 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | 1fallsbimsl david.exe | 164 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | KoJo | 146 | 0.06 | 3 min |





