








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3458 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2468 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2328 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3215 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,680 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1026 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | analcowboy67 | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | SayYouWill | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | cobalt | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | I deep throat 76561198972153077 | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | onarres1g | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Em3o5 | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | sunny | 48% | 21 |
| #9 | Coco | 45% | 44 |
| #10 | fer | 44% | 27 |
| #11 | red bull guzzler | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coco | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | cobalt | 8 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | fer | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | SayYouWill | 6 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | DANNY | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coco | 225 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | DANNY | 155 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | onarres1g | 133 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | sunny | 116 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | cobalt | 97 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cobalt | +3.61 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | Coco | +3.58 | 91 | 66 |
| #3 | analcowboy67 | +3.05 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | SayYouWill | +2.72 | 87 | 51 |
| #5 | red bull guzzler | +2.26 | 93 | 58 |





