








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 559 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9900 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8017 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5192 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6498 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,935,694 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | DANNY | 49% | 214 |
| #3 | tumbleR | 47% | 102 |
| #4 | Em3o5 | 45% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | DANNY | 49% | 214 |
| #3 | tumbleR | 47% | 102 |
| #4 | Em3o5 | 45% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANNY | 24 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Em3o5 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | tumbleR | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | ben | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANNY | 1197 | 0.26 | 39 min |
| #2 | tumbleR | 398 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Em3o5 | 220 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | ben | 124 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANNY | +1.88 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | tumbleR | +1.69 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | onarres1g | -0.16 | 93 | 77 |
| #4 | ben | -0.88 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | Em3o5 | -1.77 | 51 | 63 |





