








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 514 | 22% |
| Smokes | 586 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 789 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $243,785 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (skål) skattesvindel | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | (Caveman) Sam Losco | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | ⛴ | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | TAOM Tobias | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 105 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | (skål) skattesvindel | 50 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | ⛴ | 30 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | houzz ¤?? | 30 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #5 | TAOM Tobias | 22 | 0.10 | 0 min |





