








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1961 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1951 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1412 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1487 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,281 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NR_-' | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Cyrano de Bergerac | 62% | 34 |
| #3 | Lolywiz | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | JOKERztw | 57% | 53 |
| #5 | yANNNZ | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Candy In My Pants | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | rromain | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | JOKERztw | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | CoSλ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | EpiczTW | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rromain | 483 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #2 | JOKERztw | 329 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #3 | Candy In My Pants | 281 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | EpiczTW | 178 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | CoSλ | 154 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrano de Bergerac | +2.69 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | JOKERztw | +2.64 | 59 | 83 |
| #3 | NR_-' | +1.99 | 66 | 73 |
| #4 | rromain | +1.21 | 52 | 74 |
| #5 | woxi | +0.54 | 52 | 68 |





