








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1670 | 37% |
| Smokes | 919 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 952 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 937 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,132 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 837 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoom | 58% | 64 |
| #2 | dillybar$6.99 | 57% | 199 |
| #3 | Maxpowi | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | EDGE | 55% | 186 |
| #5 | War Monke | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoom | 58% | 64 |
| #2 | dillybar$6.99 | 57% | 199 |
| #3 | Maxpowi | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | EDGE | 55% | 186 |
| #5 | War Monke | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EDGE | 32 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | War Monke | 10 | 0.0240 |
| #3 | dillybar$6.99 | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Zoom | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EDGE | 915 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | dillybar$6.99 | 390 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Zoom | 180 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | War Monke | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Maxpowi | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EDGE | +2.33 | 61 | 48 |
| #2 | Zoom | +2.17 | 58 | 61 |
| #3 | War Monke | +1.12 | 87 | 42 |
| #4 | Tildoh | +0.93 | 72 | 43 |
| #5 | dillybar$6.99 | -1.44 | 82 | 54 |





