








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1600 | 34% |
| Smokes | 962 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1129 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 995 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,495 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Jerbaut | 51% | 39 |
| #14 | methanoutput | 50% | 10 |
| #15 | Rad0x | 44% | 9 |
| #16 | flusel | 41% | 49 |
| #17 | solem | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flusel | 139 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jerbaut | 133 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | marec | 119 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | wsly | 90 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | $LEEPWLK | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |





