








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4901 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5564 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7624 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4788 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,324,896 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 836 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xX_FAC1AL_FR1DAY_Xx | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Donkey | 59% | 69 |
| #3 | Ou Dee | 55% | 60 |
| #4 | dayv | 53% | 97 |
| #5 | Rechless | 49% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | Chelsea | 47% | 464 |
| #8 | Hoss | 47% | 36 |
| #9 | Punkk | 46% | 234 |
| #10 | Captain ☠Failure☠ | 42% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chelsea | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Punkk | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | xX_FAC1AL_FR1DAY_Xx | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Captain ☠Failure☠ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chelsea | 1149 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #2 | Captain ☠Failure☠ | 389 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | 250 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Rechless | 223 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | dayv | 187 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ou Dee | +5.33 | 90 | 49 |
| #2 | Punkk | +3.21 | 88 | 50 |
| #3 | xX_FAC1AL_FR1DAY_Xx | +3.04 | 69 | 28 |
| #4 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | +2.94 | 84 | 59 |
| #5 | James | +2.77 | 77 | 73 |





