








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 683 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 187 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6985 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7516 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6923 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8710 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,466,031 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2712 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie Monster | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | 速さ | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | Carpet_R1d3r | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | Mini Chicken | 46% | 89 |
| #5 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | 45% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mini Chicken | 46% | 89 |
| #5 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | 45% | 132 |
| #6 | Chelsea | 42% | 139 |
| #7 | James | 42% | 128 |
| #8 | Punkk | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Mini Chicken | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Chelsea | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | James | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | 速さ | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | 538 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | Chelsea | 367 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Cookie Monster | 234 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | James | 228 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mini Chicken | 189 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punkk | +2.78 | 90 | 50 |
| #2 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | +2.21 | 87 | 60 |
| #3 | James | +1.92 | 78 | 72 |
| #4 | Mini Chicken | +1.58 | 75 | 49 |
| #5 | Captain ☠Failure☠ | +0.81 | 66 | 56 |





