








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 890 | 28% |
| Smokes | 830 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 708 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 697 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,903 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristinnfannarmufc | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | xeNium | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Zolo | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | 7OXIC | 80% | 10 |
| #5 | TripleG | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #20 | Wadji | 50% | 4 |
| #21 | yungArk17ekt | 50% | 4 |
| #22 | VEJAY-_- | 50% | 6 |
| #23 | mozart | 50% | 6 |
| #24 | ✪ bRYON | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ bRYON | 2 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | 7OXIC | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Zolo | 1 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | eggiFUNCTION- | 1 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ bRYON | 42 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ronald | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | mozart | 32 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | VEJAY-_- | 27 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 25 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¥×Z̷e̷r̷q̷a̷r̷i̷×¥ | +5.46 | 96 | 62 |
| #2 | mozart | +5.02 | 66 | 75 |
| #3 | viruz #hashtag | +2.97 | 96 | 49 |
| #4 | yungArk17ekt | +2.81 | 80 | 75 |
| #5 | Eyþór | +2.57 | 87 | 73 |





