








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 405 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 504 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 858 | 11% |
| Smokes | 672 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 4308 | 56% |
| Molotovs | 1788 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,524,466 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Perpelle | 47% | 399 |
| #6 | Kazama | 45% | 299 |
| #7 | schindler | 44% | 185 |
| #8 | SNEAKY | 43% | 141 |
| #9 | louits | 42% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazama | 23 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ne3elbook | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | schindler | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Moors_8 | 10 | 0.0151 |
| #5 | Perpelle | 6 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazama | 874 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Perpelle | 697 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #3 | ne3elbook | 620 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | schindler | 585 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #5 | SNEAKY | 367 | 0.13 | 8 min |





