








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 340 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3945 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3527 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4835 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4279 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,613,261 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moors_8 | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | ne3elbook | 52% | 184 |
| #3 | SNEAKY | 45% | 88 |
| #4 | Perpelle | 44% | 234 |
| #5 | Kazama | 44% | 262 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Perpelle | 44% | 234 |
| #5 | Kazama | 44% | 262 |
| #6 | Pawsy | 44% | 185 |
| #7 | Zboubi | 42% | 74 |
| #8 | louits | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazama | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ne3elbook | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Pawsy | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Moors_8 | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Perpelle | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazama | 824 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | ne3elbook | 665 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #3 | Perpelle | 417 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | SNEAKY | 217 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Moors_8 | 151 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moors_8 | +5.48 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | ne3elbook | +0.97 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | schindler | +0.49 | 50 | 61 |
| #4 | Zboubi | +0.48 | 39 | 58 |
| #5 | Perpelle | +0.13 | 37 | 61 |





