








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3749 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2535 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2431 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1596 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $593,031 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BroIncarnate | 46% | 28 |
| #2 | Mol10Sol | 46% | 254 |
| #3 | FizzTags | 45% | 49 |
| #4 | SideOfMeat | 43% | 82 |
| #5 | Alan Dracula | 42% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mol10Sol | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | SideOfMeat | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Alan Dracula | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | FizzTags | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Cancer Carl | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mol10Sol | 757 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | SideOfMeat | 283 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Alan Dracula | 127 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cancer Carl | 92 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | FizzTags | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FizzTags | +2.18 | 60 | 35 |
| #2 | Mol10Sol | +1.59 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Isom Isham | +1.23 | 48 | 53 |
| #4 | SideOfMeat | -1.04 | 39 | 60 |
| #5 | BroIncarnate | -1.42 | 48 | 38 |





