








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1264 | 33% |
| Smokes | 859 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 691 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 976 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $314,610 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Alan Dracula | 48% | 42 |
| #6 | Isom Isham | 43% | 82 |
| #7 | NOPE | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | Mol10Sol | 34% | 35 |
| #9 | Cancer Carl | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isom Isham | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Alan Dracula | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | NOPE | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Mol10Sol | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isom Isham | 172 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mol10Sol | 115 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | worm | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Alan Dracula | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cancer Carl | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isom Isham | +2.49 | 48 | 57 |
| #2 | Mol10Sol | +1.96 | 59 | 60 |
| #3 | Yusunome™ | +0.76 | 30 | 65 |
| #4 | SideOfMeat | -0.38 | 40 | 61 |
| #5 | worm | -1.96 | 33 | 48 |





