










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 405 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5629 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4609 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5597 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2363 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,213 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 770 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ₊✩‧₊˚౨Emiru's⋆Twitch⋆Modৎ˚₊‧✩₊ | 51% | 79 |
| #5 | Svjatoslav Toonekurg | 48% | 99 |
| #6 | NightlyDαωn | 47% | 277 |
| #7 | Blumpkin Pie | 41% | 41 |
| #8 | Kqhn | 38% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NightlyDαωn | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | ₊✩‧₊˚౨Emiru's⋆Twitch⋆Modৎ˚₊‧✩₊ | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Kqhn | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | PVT.wigglebigbutt2 | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Svjatoslav Toonekurg | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svjatoslav Toonekurg | 300 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Blumpkin Pie | 214 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | ₊✩‧₊˚౨Emiru's⋆Twitch⋆Modৎ˚₊‧✩₊ | 179 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | PVT.wigglebigbutt2 | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | LeeAm | 117 | 0.09 | 2 min |





