








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2292 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2299 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1726 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2306 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,538 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St.PJ | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | braiyu | 67% | 45 |
| #3 | kl3m | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Johnny | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | Egahn | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | braiyu | 67% | 45 |
| #3 | kl3m | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Johnny | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | Egahn | 32% | 19 |
| #6 | L1nk | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kl3m | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | braiyu | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | L1nk | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | St.PJ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | braiyu | 193 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Johnny | 100 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Egahn | 90 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | L1nk | 83 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | kl3m | 61 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kl3m | +1.94 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | Johnny | +1.94 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | 6row | +1.77 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | St.PJ | +0.17 | 87 | 44 |
| #5 | braiyu | -0.84 | 71 | 71 |





