








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1364 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1206 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 877 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 980 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,969 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6row | 67% | 45 |
| #2 | kl3m | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Johnny | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | St.PJ | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | винн | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kl3m | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Johnny | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | St.PJ | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | винн | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | Lee | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6row | 7 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | kl3m | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | St.PJ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6row | 185 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Johnny | 93 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | St.PJ | 59 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | kl3m | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | винн | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6row | +3.21 | 84 | 53 |
| #2 | Johnny | +2.18 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | kl3m | +1.29 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | braiyu | -0.03 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | St.PJ | -0.10 | 87 | 47 |





