








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 1,700 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4789 | 29% |
| Smokes | 619 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 6800 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 4165 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,745,462 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2588 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magnum $ippa | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | SettiMake | 66% | 70 |
| #3 | aGu | 47% | 203 |
| #4 | FINNISH_AIM Ninja Turttle Man | 36% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magnum $ippa | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | SettiMake | 66% | 70 |
| #3 | aGu | 47% | 203 |
| #4 | FINNISH_AIM Ninja Turttle Man | 36% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aGu | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | SettiMake | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | FINNISH_AIM Ninja Turttle Man | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Magnum $ippa | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aGu | 374 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | SettiMake | 342 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | FINNISH_AIM Ninja Turttle Man | 74 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Magnum $ippa | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SettiMake | +2.08 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | Crileboy я его | +1.45 | 57 | 62 |
| #3 | Magnum $ippa | +0.91 | 54 | 41 |
| #4 | aGu | +0.02 | 68 | 38 |
| #5 | FINNISH_AIM Ninja Turttle Man | -3.11 | 19 | 31 |





