








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1050 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1102 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1249 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1276 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,932 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flashback | 47% | 120 |
| #2 | Fezz (TTV/fezzsnezz) | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | Cpt. John Dice | 45% | 124 |
| #4 | -moT- | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Squif | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Fezz (TTV/fezzsnezz) | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | Cpt. John Dice | 45% | 124 |
| #4 | -moT- | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Squif | 44% | 50 |
| #6 | Cpt. John Mice | 44% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flashback | 14 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Cpt. John Dice | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Cpt. John Mice | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Squif | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Fezz (TTV/fezzsnezz) | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt. John Dice | 492 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Cpt. John Mice | 401 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | Flashback | 165 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Squif | 140 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | -moT- | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -moT- | +5.35 | 69 | 58 |
| #2 | t.tv/Dadzazel | +2.03 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | Squif | +0.94 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | Flashback | -0.23 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | Cpt. John Mice | -1.46 | 43 | 61 |





