








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 380 | 26% |
| Smokes | 428 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 400 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $193,532 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gikkon | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | FOKKENFOULREFFDONWORREHSTEEVEE | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Benny_888 | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | -moT- | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Cpt. John Mice | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cpt. John Mice | 49% | 39 |
| #6 | t.tv/Dadzazel | 44% | 50 |
| #7 | Flashback | 44% | 41 |
| #8 | Cpt. John Dice | 41% | 44 |
| #9 | Fezz (TTV/fezzsnezz) | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t.tv/Dadzazel | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Flashback | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Cpt. John Dice | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Benny_888 | 2 | 0.0286 |
| #5 | Fezz (TTV/fezzsnezz) | 2 | 0.0345 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt. John Dice | 215 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cpt. John Mice | 173 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | t.tv/Dadzazel | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Flashback | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | -moT- | 16 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gikkon | +3.08 | 99 | 86 |
| #2 | -moT- | +2.59 | 63 | 45 |
| #3 | Benny_888 | +2.47 | 66 | 25 |
| #4 | t.tv/Dadzazel | +1.35 | 65 | 55 |
| #5 | Squif | +0.81 | 54 | 59 |





